How to go out: A guide to the different ways you can approach the club scene.

If we’ve dated in the past, this blog post is probably not something you want to read. This is about club life, my experiences and the 3 different ways to go out in Portland. This is a culmination of my (slightly limited) personal experiences in Portland, Oregon. For those that are new here, I recently turned 21 in August of last year. I have a very delicate balance between trying to make sure i get to experience my 20’s while also being a single mom, and working. One thing that was important to me was getting to go out and experience clubs while in my 20’s. Luckily, my new job has a rotating schedule where about once a month I work on a weekend, and my daughter will have a sleepover at my parents due to daycare not running over weekends. This gave me an opportunity to get to go out on the town a few times in the past 6 months.

A few key points of note which affect my club experiences: I’m a thicker woman so I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, not your average cute thin chick so I probably get hit on a bit less than some of my friends i go out with as I am a specific type. I am much more of a to-boy so even when I’m going out 90% of the time I’m wearing (Cute/Stylish) Sneakers and some lil ensemble that shows off my ass but is more than likely pants lol. There are essentially three ways you can go out to a club.

There are essentially 3 different types of night out, all look a bit differently.

  1. Going out with a girl posse
  2. Going out with your man (exclusive or otherwise)
  3. Going out by yourself

My tips:

  1. Make friends with every bouncer/club promoter you meet. Be nice, never cause big issues, and playfully flirt (don’t full on come on to them though)
  2. If you have DJ friends, go out the night they’re DJing, for one, you have a safe person you know is there in case some insane shit goes done, and secondly, you know the music is gonna be good, also, ya know, support ya homies.

Going out with the girls:

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Undeniably the most popular, going out with your girls. Many women feel this is the best way to go out because of multiple reasons. The main reasons being, you have support for any situation, if people are creepy, or you don’t find a suitable “dance partner” and likely, you already know you’re going to have a good night because these are your girls.

There are some cons that sometimes happen when out with the girls. Difference in opinions/time management are the biggest. Not all girls, even best friends, have the same taste. This can be in music, favorite bars, and guys, and if your in Portland especially this is important to note as the clubs downtown are a bit segregated in music and ethnicity. Best tip is to have a plan set before you go out, agree on 1 or 2 clubs you all are cool with hitting and be considerate/understanding if your friends want to switch even if your having a good time. Also understand sometimes a weird dynamic ensues where one or two of your girls start dancing with guys, and your the odd one out, either buck up and grab some dude to dance with or just fuck it up on your own nearby.

Going out with a guy (boyfriend or other):

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There comes a time in life when your dating someone/in a relationship but you still want to go out and have a good time. This is where taking your man out clubbing may come into play. I actually took my ex-boyfriend out a while ago after our relationship had ended but during the transitional period where we had made up and were flirty but not together again. Going out with a partner is a very different experience. For one, you can’t really shamelessly flirt your way out of cover charges or into VIP’s like i normally would. You have to be more creative if you don’t want to pay for annoying cover charges. For instance, when i typically go out i do have a favorite club, i know the DJ and love his music, and am friendly with the bouncers and the people watching is pure comedy. Dirty Nightclub is probably one of my favorites, with a close second being Shake. My secret is to bring the promoter hot coffee and he let me and my mans in for freeeeee. $3 coffee and a couple block walk vs. $25 worth of cover charges between my man and I. i will and it it was nice to not have to dance alone at all that night. I took my mans out so I paid as a treat that night, but if its the other way around and your man is taking you out, then that means free drinks and free D at the end of the night (keep it consensual folks).

Going out Aloneeee:

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My personal favorite, going out by yourself. Quite a few of the girlfriends i have or people i meet are honestly a bit afraid of going out Solo, but i personally think it’s the best experience.

Here are my reasons:

1. Your choice 100% of the night. You can go to whatever bar, switch whenever, and dance with whomever you want all night long. If you want to just grab a drink and your favorite song and be in bed by 1130, great! If you want to go out all night and take a walk with your slice of pizza and your buzz and not crawl into bed until 3 am, awesome! No one is offering their opinions or complaining when you want to stay.

2. You can flirt/ get in everywhere. There is only one of you, so your not tied down by a guy who may block you from getting into the packed clubs, and you can flirt your way into a lot of clubs for free or VIP’s by just having a good rapport with bouncers/when someone you know is DJing. Or even if your just a sly little ninja, it’s easier to sneak into VIP’s and the better areas because your by your self or can say your friend just went in and forgot you. More often than not, when your being nice and flirty about it, it works.

3. Friends and free drinks! When you’re not in a posse, guys are going to think your more approachable. Random girls are going to be more friendly. When you’re on your own and not in a girl posse or even with a guy friend, guys are thinking its safer to approach you. They don’t have to deal with being embarrassed in front of a bunch of other girls if you turn them down and to our advantage they see you as an “easy target” because your alone and are maybe “lonely” oh boo hoo. Also if your like me and sometimes your friends are a little better at dressing up and flirting, no one is cock blocking/ competing. There has also never been a time i have gone out alone where I don’t meet the coolest girls, when your by yourself it’s easier to get invited into other friend groups for the night or VIP booths because they see you enjoying yourself and confidently going out alone. There’s a reason people also say confidence is attractive. And what is more confident than being a bad ass chick out and about, doing you.

Cons: You do have a little less support. In the event of weird people and creepy scenarios, you don’t have your girls to back you. However, if you already always watching your drink being made, you don’t drink to intoxication, and are generally not a naive dumb ass, you’ll be fine. Be nice to the bouncers/security and 9/10 times they will look out for you. I once saw a DJ throw on the lights and start cussing out a guy at a club, over the microphone because he noticed some creepy shit going down with a girl that had clearly had a bit too much. Especially at the clubs in Portland, they’re packed but they’re small enough that people notice creepy shit going on. This rule does not necessarily carry over if your out in Vegas/ NYC or LA, some of those clubs are giant and too big to police. Always be your own advocate, there’s no point in drinking so much you’re intoxicated, be safe, and you can 100% have an amazing time.

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